


The Mind Game

by NikaAnuk



Category: The Imitation Game (2014)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memories, Short, mentioned past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikaAnuk/pseuds/NikaAnuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I expect you to forget about everything what happened here."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mind Game

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [心灵游戏](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4391672) by [lxzhii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxzhii/pseuds/lxzhii)



> All my love to Arinsar who was so kind to make beta.   
> All the mistakes are mine.

'I expect you to forget everything what happened here, in Bletchley' Menzies said.

Forget everything.

_Forget_ . 

Forget the people you've met, forget the times you've spent with them. Forget his eyes, his smile when he looked at you so proud.  _Forget_ ... 

The water becomes colder around him. Sitting in his bathtub he tries to forget everything.

Hugh's arm around his shoulder s, Jade's smile and her warm body, her giggle when Hugh danced with her. Long evenings when Peter brought them tea. Lunch breaks, the awful food and the amazing storm which caught them when they were coming back from the pub. Menzies smelled with cigarettes and cologne. Hugh laughed when he was dancing. Jack was always a little distant... Jack's memory instantly brings bitterness. The only one who knew. 

„Forget” he whispers although it doesn't work. 

His hands hidden between his thighs are calm at last. Lately there they have been trembling so much he can barely raise the glass. He was never handsome but now his body gives up to the medicine and the treatment. 

„Forget...” He whispers again, but there he is, so young and so happy, sitting on the bench, Christopher in front of him, they play chess. There is so much laugh and so much brightness in this memory. 

Even the hands of the young man with no name come back to him. Few moments of pleasure which costed him so much. Not only with his body but with his mind as well. That hurts him more. He is loosing Christopher. 

„Forget!” He shouts, bending towards his legs. „Forget, forget, forget...” He's chanting but memories of Hugh's lips and the warmth of his hand, Sebastian's bright smile, Thomas' laugh, all comes back and he is sitting trapped in the bathtub not able to run away. 

If only forgetting was so simple. He used to forget but lately everything in his head seems to mix up: the old memories of Christopher come back waking in him the urge to touch him, to feel that safety again. 

He lies down, resting his head against the edge of bathtub, sobbing. When he turns his head he can see the coil of the red cable. There he is. His beloved Christopher. If he only could... If he only could finish him and  _talk_ to him as they used to.

Forget.

Forgetting is like shutting all the doors close in your head and Alan used to be so good at this. Always careful, always so careful. Except this one time. And now, because of the treatment all the doors suddenly shut open and his brain can't solve any puzzle too busy fighting unwelcome memories. He is alone, in his head, screaming and trashing around, but his body is  moveless in the armchair, he can stare at the wall for hours. Sometimes gazing at Christopher in the other room. It becomes harder and harder to remember what all this means but he knows that this is his only friend, the most important person. He remembers that he is going to be happy with Christopher once again. 

I expect you to forget about everything what happened here.

Forget.

Forget.

Forget.

If you don't remember then it doesn't exist. 

Forget.

 

2015

 


End file.
